It really feels so good being around family, crying babies, a maid as if I’m the queen and a driver.
And the best of all when I stay up late in the night with my PJ watching a movie as if the living room is kind of my domain. Well, my two brothers are on a vacation as well and they have their own lives in the farm. My dad and mom sleep so early.
Of course I sort of miss my one bed room apartment. But it’s okay now, as long as my brothers are most of the time out 😀

I’m still somewhat of a mystery to my family, I can tell that from the way they look at me. But this is me. I’m trying so hard to be good at socializing, specially at this time, where so many events are coming, parties and such.

Despite the fact that I have no social life, and as much as I wished I could be better, I couldn’t be able to get involved with people in the few events that happened in the past few days.
And i started to lose the intreats and the excitements to be better socially . which is so good for me. At least there’s nothing that would piss me off after any event. Right?

Off to bed. Good night : )

Weakness

Is it really hard to overcome ur weakness? And never let very small silly things make a bad influence on you ?

Is it hard to be a strong person?
I have been on a bad mood for days. And that’s only because of few small stuff happened NOT to me and i have nothing to do with it, I’m even not that involved in it, but it has affected my mood.

I have to work on my weakness. Guess this is no good at all. I can’t stand it much longer.
I keep imagining if I’m that strong and nothing really makes me weak in life, and would be even better if I have control over my emotions. Would my life be very simple?

Of course there are times when human being gets weak. That happens to everyone, but doesn’t happen everyday. 😦

Jun 21, 11:00 am

I still can’t believe I’m done with the 3rd year. I feel that I’m so old I used to see those 4th year students as if they’re going to die very soon becuz they’re tooo old. And guess what? I’m one of those. I’m going to die very soon:P
I have never seen myself happy like I am now.I danced a lot after the final. I thought maybe I lost the five kilos that I have been dreaming of my entire life. 😀
I can say I’m half a doctor now : )
I’m writing this though I have not been sleeping for days.

ThiRd year was all about trying to be a better person nearly in everything not only in school. I gave myself a chance so I could know if I’m really into medicine. Not to mention what happened to me in my second year, it sucked with me.
So yeah it did work, everything went just perfect, but not EXACTLY what I hoped for. It’s just because I want everything perfectly perfect and that’s my only problem!

No wonder some troubles came one after another in the first semester. But I tried to deal with the whole thing like nothing had ever happened. And that’s the reason why I did kind of great in the third year.

I faced so many horrible things in the beginning, and it’s because before we started the year, I planned on doing so many things and I really wanted to be good at everything. I was sort of overreacting. Yeah it was over. And that planning kind of thing was a big mistake. That even made me more of disoriented and scared than excited in the beginning of the third year. I was so afraid I would be in the same situation I had been in the second year.

But thank god. I was able to face all things I feared. and the best of all, my GPA is much better now, Alhamdlellah.

Good night.